Buffy runs a hand through her hair, still tense and angry at the confrontation she’d had a few minutes ago with Spike. Knowing it was going to take a lot to make the bleached blonde vampire understand she doesn’t want to have anything else to do with him. Digging a hand in her pocket, she pulls out the cash for the door fee, handing it to the person before walking into the Bronze. Quickly making her way up the stairs, she looks for any vampires, before trotting back down to slowly cruise the club. Not feeling any vampires or anything else amiss, Buffy finally allows her eyes to look over the people inside.
Seeing some of the regulars dancing and drinking, Buffy chuckles quietly at their drunken antics, before continuing to check out the people. Something she doesn’t take much time to do anymore. Letting herself enjoy people watching instead of always in a hurry to patrol and kill whatever demons are around, before hurrying home to be there at a decent hour for Dawn, since Willow is usually a no-show or gets home extremely late. But with Dawn away for Spring break with a friend from school, Buffy realizes she can take her time and maybe enjoy life a little.
Scanning the people sitting at the booths, Buffy frowns slightly seeing the back of a familiar looking blonde sitting in one of the small booths by herself. It takes a moment for Buffy to become aware that she was closing the distance between her and Tara. Shaking her head, before allowing a small grin to cross her face, she continues from where she’d hesitated.
As she gets closer, Buffy tilts her head as she sees an untouched drink sitting in front of Tara, with the ice almost completely melted and Tara’s fingers playing around the edge of the glass and through the condensation on the sides. Inhaling deeply, Buffy frowns as she realizes its alcohol. Easing beside Tara, Buffy leans down and whispers softly. “I didn’t know you drank.”
Tara chuckles quietly, having sensed the slayer approaching. Shifting the glass away to the edge of the table, she looks up and waves to the other side of the booth. “I don’t. Obviously.” Tara grins crookedly as she watches Buffy take her up on her offer and sit down.
“Then why?” Buffy questions looking at the drink before looking back at Tara, blinking as she actually takes in the way she looks. Looking at the soft hair, gently curled, falling about her face enticingly to the softly made up face with a shiny gloss on her pouty lips down to the navy blue silk button down shirt, unbuttoned to the edge of her purple bra, showing an enticing amount of cleavage. Buffy swallows hard and shifts her eyes down to the table as she feels a heavy dose of desire working through her body. ‘Okay, Buffy. No ogling Willow’s ex-girlfriend. Very serious bad mojo there.’ Buffy mentally chastises herself.
Tara shrugs and looks out at the crowd of people, unaware of Buffy’s scrutiny. “Sounded good at the time.”
Buffy slowly looks back up, tilting her head. “I had better ask this before someone comes and beats me up... but are you here on a date?” Buffy questions hesitantly, looking over Tara’s features again, though being careful not to let her eyes drop below the Wiccan’s lips.
Tara chuckles and smiles sadly. “No. No date. Just kind of felt like going out on the prowl.” Tara’s eyes twinkle momentarily before she looks down.
Buffy blinks and opens her mouth, before snapping it shut, her mind swirling around the word ‘prowl’. ‘Surely, she doesn’t mean that the way I’m thinking it!’ Buffy mentally smacks herself trying to get the thoughts out of her head as to Tara looking for a one-night stand.
Tara glances back up, seeing the emotions crossing Buffy’s face. Having to laugh at Buffy’s thoughts showing so plainly, Tara shakes her head at the slayer. “Your thoughts are pretty much right on the money, Buffy. I had a wild hair and decided to go out and see if I couldn’t find a willing partner to jump into bed with me.” Seeing Buffy’s eyes widen in shock, Tara giggles. “You should see your face.” Shaking her head at the slayer, Tara grins crookedly, her eyes starting to twinkle mischievously. “Come on. Fess up, slayer. Haven’t you ever wanted to just take someone to bed and fuck their brains out, no commitment and no worries? A quick kiss goodbye in the morning, and go on about your life?”
Buffy’s eyebrows dip down over her eyes, furrowing deeply. “Tara? Tara Maclay?” Buffy questions, starting to look more intently in Tara’s eyes, trying to figure out of it actually was Tara sitting in front of her.
Tara raises an eyebrow and laughs softly. “Yes, it’s me, Buffy. No, I haven’t been abducted by aliens, or shot with some venom from a demon to change my personality...” Tara reaches over to gently grasp the slayer’s hand in hers, from where it was lying on top of the table, pressing the slayer’s fingers against her neck so the slayer can feel her warmth and pulse. “I haven’t been turned into a vampire, or any other thoughts that might be going through your head.”
Buffy’s eyes drop to where her fingers are pressed against the warm flesh, the pulse pounding steadily and strongly under her fingertips. Raising her eyes back to Tara, Buffy leaves her fingers there even after Tara releases her hand, unconsciously stroking the soft skin. “I have to admit, I’m surprised.” Buffy explains as she continues to look at Tara.
Tara shrugs and smiles. “Yeah, I kind of surprised myself, too. It isn’t something I’ve ever done before, but it seemed right to do it now, for some reason.” Tara looks down, smiling as Buffy finally gently removes her fingers from her neck, wondering if the slayer had felt where her pulse had started to pick up from the fingertips having caressed gently over her neck.
Buffy swallows and eases her hand away from Tara, feeling the faster pounding of her pulse and the heat that seemed to increase at the point of contact. “Found anyone you’re interested in?” Buffy finally questions hoarsely.
“Not anyone that would be interested in me.” Tara finally explains, her eyes taking in the slayer’s features, silently wondering if Buffy has any idea how much she likes the slayer. Knowing it isn’t something that will go anywhere, because Buffy is definitely about as straight as they come. Just thinking about how Buffy and Riley were together would put paid to any thoughts that there might be a chance Buffy would consider being with a woman. Tara sighs and looks around the bar again, taking in the sights and sounds.
“Who wouldn’t be interested in you?” Buffy blinks, surprised at the Wiccan’s words.
Tara chuckles and raises an eyebrow as she looks back at Buffy. “Well... Women that are obviously straight would be a good start.”
Buffy shakes her head lightly before brushing her fingers over her lips as she thinks for a few moments. “Is there really such a thing?” Buffy finally questions seriously.
Tara blinks and stares at the slayer. “Is there really such a thing? What do you mean?” Tara questions while looking at the slayer, trying to understand what she’s asking.
“Is there such a thing as a straight woman?” Buffy questions again, leaning back against the back of the booth to look at Tara. “As in a woman that wouldn’t even consider or think about being with another woman.”
Tara starts to laugh before shaking her head. “Possibly thinking about it is one thing, Buffy. But actually considering the thought of being with a woman is something again. Being turned on by a woman, wanting to kiss them and touch them... That’s something else, and I would have to say, yes. There are straight women.” Tara tilts her head, smirking at the slayer. “I’m looking at one right now.” Tara winks at Buffy before chuckling as Buffy blushes.
‘Not with the thoughts and feelings going through my mind and body at this moment in time.’ Buffy mentally mutters, as the thoughts of what it would be like to kiss Tara’s soft, pouty lips, wanting to find out if Tara’s skin is as soft and silky across the rest of her body as her neck is. Groaning quietly, Buffy props her elbows up on the table and drops her head onto her hands, before finally whispering. “I think you may need to get your gay-dar re-aligned, Tara.” Buffy sighs quietly, before lifting her face to stare into surprised blue eyes. “I can guaran-damn-tee you that I have had some very serious thoughts running through my mind. And my body seems to be more than willing to follow along right now.”
Tara blinks in surprise at Buffy, watching the slayer curiously. With the past tense the slayer used, Tara figures that maybe there was a woman that she might have been interested in before and just never acted on it, but with her present tense with her second sentence, it makes Tara frown in contemplation. “So you’ve been attracted, seriously attracted, to a woman in the past?” Tara questions quietly.
Buffy chuckles quietly, as she stares intently at Tara for a few long minutes, before finally coming to a decision. Dropping her arms to the table and leaning in conspiratorially, Buffy drops a not so subtle hint. “I guess it depends on what you consider the past. Is the last ten or so minutes the past to you?”
Tara stares in disbelief at the slayer, her mouth opening and shutting in surprise at the serious hazel eyes, realizing Buffy isn’t joking with her. “You...” Shaking her head, Tara shifts forward slightly on the booth’s seat. “Are you just curious, Buffy?” Tara finally questions, her eyes looking at Buffy’s hands to slowly rise to look into her eyes again.
Buffy slowly shakes her head. “I mean, yes I am curious... very curious.” Buffy admits softly, before slowly taking her time to get her thoughts in order. “You are an extremely beautiful woman, and I am attracted to you. Truth be known, I’ve been attracted to you for a while but I’ve always kind of shoved the thought away and wouldn’t think about it when it popped up.” Buffy explains quietly, running a hand through her hair as she finally examines her feelings a little more. Realizing that she has been thinking about Tara off and on for over a year now, but for obvious reasons, not allowing more than a brief thought to cross her mind.
Tara blinks at the slayer, her mind stalling at the realization that Buffy is attracted to her. Whether it’s just physical, or possibly something more Tara doesn’t know. Continuing to consider the slayer in front of her, Tara tilts her head and questions softly. “Is it a physical attraction, Buffy? I mean...” Tara takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out before continuing. “Because I can honestly tell you, that I am attracted to you. Any person in their right mind would be. But I would also have to admit, that if it was curiosity only, I don’t think I could deal with us being together like that. I care for you more than that would allow, and it would probably end up hurting me emotionally. And that’s something that I really couldn’t deal with right now, on top of everything else that has happened.”
Buffy’s mouth opens slightly in surprise, as she listens to Tara, never having known that the woman was attracted to her, and from her words more than attracted. Obviously the Wiccan cared for her, also... not that Buffy ever thought she didn’t, but just thought Tara liked her as a friend, nothing more. “You actually care for me more than just as a friend?” Buffy finally questions, looking intently at Tara.
Tara slowly nods her head, and smiles softly at Buffy. “Yes, Buffy. I care for you more than just a friend.” Tara shrugs her shoulders and glances down for a moment. “I love you.” Tara slowly looks back up seeing the stunned look on Buffy’s face. “I love you deeper and more strongly than what would be considered normal for friendship.”
Buffy slowly edges her hand across the small table to place her fingertips softly on top of Tara’s fingers. “You weren’t ever going to say anything?”
Tara shakes her head and grins crookedly at the slayer. “Why cause myself more discomfort by hitting on someone that I thought was as straight as an arrow? Then there’s the whole best friend with Willow thing to consider...” Tara mentions quietly, her smile turning into a frown as she thinks about Willow, and what the redhead had done to her.
Buffy softly strokes her fingers over Tara’s hand. “That shouldn’t really have anything to do with us, since you two aren’t seeing each other anymore... though I can see where this would cause a problem.” Buffy admits quietly as she looks at Tara’s hand, watching as she strokes her fingers over Tara’s. “Can I ask something?” Buffy finally questions after a few minutes of the two women sitting there companionably in silence each lost in their own thoughts.
“Of course.” Tara drags herself from the thought of wondering what would happen if she and Buffy were to act on their mutual attraction.
“What exactly happened between you and Willow?” Buffy whispers as she looks up into blue eyes. “All she would ever say was that you two broke up because of the magic.”
Tara sighs quietly and looks down. “I guess in a roundabout way, it was because of the magic. But it was ultimately what Willow did with the magic, and how she treated me that was actually to blame.”
Buffy bites her lip and watches Tara, seeing the sadness crossing the blue eyes. “Tara? If you don’t want to talk about it...” Buffy trails off watching as Tara slowly shakes her head.
“No. I haven’t spoken with anyone about what happened, so it would probably be cathartic to do so.” Tara admits quietly. “I’m going to get a soda before we start, would you like one?” Tara questions as she gently eases her hand away from Buffy’s soothing caress.
“Let me.” Buffy waves Tara to stay seated before she hops up and runs to the bar, ordering a couple sodas, carrying them back to the table.
“Thank you.” Tara smiles softly at the slayer, watching as Buffy slides back into her seat, wiggling around slightly as she makes herself comfortable.
Buffy smiles back shyly as she lifts the soda and drinks a third of it down, not realizing how thirsty she’d been.
Tara takes a couple small sips of her drink as she watches Buffy, smiling at the slayer’s shyness. Slowly relaxing, Tara tilts her head thinking about Willow. “I guess you could say things more or less started right before my run in with Glory. Willow and I had a fight, and she stormed off. It was about a combination of things, including magic.” Tara shrugs and looks down, running her fingers through the condensation on the table from her glass. “We had another argument a short time before I left... She did a spell on me taking away the memory of an argument we had.” Tara slowly raises her eyes to Buffy. “I was able to reverse the spell and remember what it was we argued over.” Tara shakes her head, sighing quietly.
“What was it?” Buffy questions softly, watching Tara, while her mind takes in the thought that Willow actually placed a spell on Tara to take away her memory, the thought flitting through her mind that that was worse than what Glory had done, since Willow supposedly loved Tara.
“We argued about the magic. Dawn had more or less run away and we were here...” Tara looks up at the walk above them. “It was crowded and she wanted to shift everybody that was in here, that wasn’t a 14 year old girl, into another dimension to make it easier to look for her.” Tara hears the deeply inhaled breath come from the slayer. Slowly nodding her head, Tara looks at Buffy. “So not a good idea.” Tara runs a hand through her hair. “Well after I finally talked her out of it, later on we had an argument about her abuse of magic, and I asked if she just wanted me to shut up. When she came back angrily at me with ‘That would be a good start’, it shocked the hell out of me. I just looked at her the shock was probably pretty obvious on my face, before I finally became angry and told her if I didn’t love her so much, I would.” Tara picks up the glass and takes another sip as she thinks for a few minutes. “Needless to say, she did the spell right after that argument. I found out the following day when Dawnie made a comment about how she was happy that Willow and I had made up and weren’t fighting anymore.”
Buffy shakes her head in utter disbelief that Willow would do something like that. “I just can’t believe that she would do something like that...” Quickly reaching and covering Tara’s hand, Buffy looks at her. “I’m not saying that I don’t believe you, I do, completely. It just seems so out of character from the Willow I grew up with and have known all these years.”
Tara slowly relaxes and nods her head. “Those were pretty much my thoughts, also.” Tara finally admits smiling softly as Buffy leaves her hand on top of hers. “It took me a little while to research what happened, then things kind of got put on hold, because I was going to leave then.”
“Why didn’t you?” Buffy questions hesitantly, watching as Tara’s eyes shift to look out at the dance floor, before slowly coming back to settle on her.
“That’s when the whole thing with Sweet happened.” Tara whispers softly, watching sadly as the slayer’s eyes widen in surprise and shock.
“God.” Buffy shakes her head, blinking as she thinks about that time, remembering at the beginning how Willow and Tara had been sneaking away and being all lovey-dovey... realizing that Willow had to have taken Tara’s memory right before that. Shivering as a wave of revulsion goes through her body, it occurs to Buffy that Tara never would have probably been with Willow physically, if it wasn’t for that spell.
Tara watches Buffy for a few moments, seeing her obvious look of revulsion as the same thought occurred to the slayer that Tara keeps thinking about. “Like rape.” Tara whispers softly.
Buffy’s haunted eyes look up as she slowly nods in agreement. “That’s what it made me think of.” Buffy admits quietly, her heart pounding hard in her chest, her stomach slightly queasy at the thought.
“After I confronted her with it, later on, she promised me she wouldn’t do any magic for a week.” Tara shakes her head and a sarcastic laugh escapes between her lips. “Want to take a guess as to how long she lasted?” Tara tilts her head, looking curiously at Buffy.
“No.” Buffy shakes her head, wondering if she ever knew her best friend at all.
“Less than twelve hours.” Tara continues after a few moments, seeing the curious look in Buffy‘s eyes even with her negative response. “That’s when she did the big forget spell on all of us. Of course, she didn’t mean to have everyone forget everything, just me our arguments about magic, and you...” Tara trails of, not knowing if she should continue.
“What about me?” Buffy leans forward, frowning heavily. “She meant for me to be part of a forget spell?”
Tara slowly nods and places her other hand gently over Buffy’s. “That’s where she screwed up. She tried to combine a forget spell together for both of us. Your portion was to forget that you were ever in heaven.” Tara explains quietly. “After that happened, I moved out.” Tara shrugs and looks down at their hands. “I honestly don’t know if Willow thinks we’re going to get back together or not, but we’re not.” Tara admits, sighing. “I guess I should have a discussion with her, just in case.”
“You better.” Buffy offers softly, her eyes sad. “I think she believes that you’ll come back to her once she proves that she has the magic under control.”
“I can’t, Buffy.” Tara looks up, tears making her eyes glassy. “I can’t ever forget or forgive her for what she did. I’ll never be able to trust her again, I would always wonder if something would happen where she would be tempted to try and fix our problems or arguments with magic.”
“I can understand that.” Buffy places her other hand on top of Tara’s, gently turning it to thread her fingers through Tara’s. “I didn’t mean to upset you by dragging this all up.”
Tara shakes her head while taking a deep calming breath. “No, sweetie. I needed to get it out.” Tara allows a small smile to cross her face. “It’s kind of one of those things that when it first happens, you cry and cry and cry. Then I kind of just didn’t think about it at all for the longest time.” Tara tilts her head watching as Buffy watches her intently. “But it kind of builds up, needing that last little bit to be let out and finding a calmness in the realization that once you lance it, it doesn’t hurt as much as it did.”
“Makes sense.” Buffy understands what Tara’s saying, smiling softly at the Wiccan, Buffy glances down at their hands, watching as Tara’s thumb caresses softly across the top of her hand. “Your skin is so soft.” Buffy whispers before blinking and blushing at her comment. “Sorry, don’t know where that came from.”
Tara chuckles and squeezes Buffy’s hands softly. “Thank you, sweetie. And you don’t have anything to be sorry about. Feel free to say whatever you want to me.”
“Anything?” Buffy’s eyes start to twinkle and she slowly grins at the Wiccan. Laughing quietly as Tara starts to laugh.
“Yes, anything.” Tara continues chuckling for a few minutes. “So, how was patrol tonight?”
“Okay. Dusted a few vamps.” Buffy admits quietly as she looks down at their hands, her eyes watching the pattern Tara’s thumb is rubbing over her hand. “Ran into Spike.”
Tara frowns at the slayer’s words. “How are things between you two?” Tara finally questions hoarsely after a few moments.
Buffy raises her eyes, seeing the frown and the guarded look come into Tara’s blue eyes. It hits her that they’re sitting there flirting with each other, and as far as Tara is aware, she’s still fucking Spike. Mentally berating herself, Buffy squeezes Tara’s hands and shakes her head. “I haven’t been with him for a few weeks. He’s been pushing and trying to get me to get with him.”
Relaxing, Tara nibbles on her bottom lip. “He’s not going to give you up easily, Buffy.” Tara whispers quietly, her eyes searching the slayer’s hazel eyes. “Has he tried to… become physical with you any of these times?” Tara questions diplomatically.
Buffy sighs quietly, slowly nodding her head. “He’s taken a couple swings at me, hoping I’ll retaliate and then…” Buffy trails off blushing lightly.
“He can trigger your sex drive for you to fuck him.” Tara continues for the slayer, growling quietly under her breath at the vampire’s obviousness. “Bastard.” Tara lifts one of her hands from Buffy’s and runs it through her hair roughly as she thinks heavily.
Buffy raises an eyebrow in surprise at Tara. “I know we were kind of using the beating each other for foreplay, which I told you about, but what makes you say it’s a trigger?”
Tara blinks and focuses in on the slayer, watching her intently for a few minutes. “You don’t realize…” Tara trails off, slowly shaking her head as she looks down. “Bear with me here for a second, Buffy.” Tara tries to get her thoughts in order as how to phrase this to Buffy.
Buffy frowns watching Tara intently. “Okay.” Buffy finally agrees watching as the emotions cross Tara’s face.
Tara smiles briefly at Buffy before leaning in and speaking softly. “I need your honesty regarding this. I know you’ll probably want to automatically deny it, but there’s no need to, okay?”
Buffy looks into Tara’s serious blue eyes and slowly nods her head. “I’ll try.” Buffy finally offers.
“Thank you.” Tara quirks her lip before continuing. “I honestly think this is something that has to do with your Slayer genes, for lack of another word.” Tara tilts her head and looks at Buffy before reminding her. “Honest answer, Buffy. When you’ve had a very rough night slaying, being beat up and beating up on demons, don’t you become extremely aroused?”
Buffy blushes darkly, her eyes dropping to her and Tara’s hands clasped together, her head shaking in the negative automatically, as she remembers Tara telling her she needed her honest answer. Sighing quietly, Buffy finally nods her head, once, sharply.
“Thank you, sweetie.” Tara smiles encouragingly at the slayer as Buffy slowly raises her eyes back to her. “Not that other people don’t receive enjoyment and pleasure from pain, but I think part of your being the slayer probably causes more of a response than most people. And the more violent your night is, the worse it is, I would assume?”
Buffy whimpers quietly as she looks back down briefly before raising her eyes again. “Yes.” Buffy finally whispers softly.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Tara reaches up to brush a finger over Buffy’s cheek, smiling softly at Buffy. “But what I’m getting at, is that I believe Spike realizes that this is what happens, and he’s trying to force you into getting to that state so he can fuck you.”
Buffy growls quietly, her eyes darkening in anger as she remembers Spike’s taunts and comments, his taking swings at her to make her fight him. “That bastard!” Buffy finally hisses lowly.
“Am I right?” Tara watches as Buffy slowly nods her head.
“I think so. He’s always trying to irritate me, get me pissed off to where I’ll fight him.” Buffy explains quietly, continuing to think about it. “How the hell is he aware of that?”
“He’s been around for over a hundred years, Buffy. Demons talk to each other, and I think he’s always watched you. His senses are sharp, he may have heard, smelled or seen something that would have led him to believe it. He’s bragged often enough about killing two previous slayers, surely he watched them trying to find out their weaknesses before finally fighting them. He doesn’t strike me as the type that would take a chance with his un-life by fighting them without being pretty sure he has a damn good chance of beating them.” Tara explains quietly, watching the slayer.
“Just what I wanted to be aware of… that bastard smelling me after fights.” Buffy growls angrily, her eyes sparking. “I bet he was doing it even before the chip was put in!”
“Sorry.” Tara smiles sadly at Buffy. “I’m not positive that’s what it is, Buffy.”
“You’re probably right. He’s followed me around enough, and I know I can smell things from a pretty good distance, vampires can also.” Buffy clenches her jaw at the thought of smelling like a damn dog in heat to the other demons when she’s fighting.
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” Tara whispers softly, seeing the anger in Buffy’s eyes.
“No, Tara.” Buffy takes a couple deep breaths to get control of her anger, slowly shaking her head as she comes to the realization that there isn’t anything she can do about her body’s reaction to fighting. “It just pisses me off that demons are probably able to smell me when I’ve been fighting.” Buffy admits, frowning. “It never really occurred to me before.”
Tara bites her lip as she considers the problem. “I think I remember reading a spell that was supposed to make something have no fragrance whatsoever. But I’ll have to research it and see what it consists of, if you’d like me to?” Tara offers, smiling at the slayer.
“I can’t ask you to do that, Tara.” Buffy shakes her head, smiling at the Wiccan. “I appreciate it, though.”
“Buffy, please let me look into it. What would it hurt?” Tara grins crookedly at the slayer. “Plus it’ll give you a reason to come visit me.” Tara wiggles her eyebrows at the slayer, chuckling as Buffy’s eyes narrow on her.
“I need a reason?” Buffy jokes back with the Wiccan, slowly relaxing as she lets go of the rest of her anger.
“No.” Tara whispers seriously. “You’re more than welcome to visit me anytime day or night, Buffy.”
Buffy searches the Wiccan’s eyes, seeing the seriousness and caring showing in the blue depths. “Thank you, Tara.”
“No thanks necessary, Buffy. I’ll be there for you, no matter what.” Tara offers quietly, hoping to make Buffy understand that no matter what happens between them, she would always consider her a friend.
Buffy smiles softly at the Wiccan. “I think that maybe we should talk with certain people, before taking this…” Buffy tries to think of a proper word.
Tara chuckles softly. “Attraction, caring, desire, wanting to jump each others bones?”
Buffy laughs, but also blushes at the same time. “Were you always like this?” Buffy finally questions, shaking her head as she looks into Tara’s twinkling eyes.
“Pretty much. Just not quite so obvious.” Tara grins crookedly at the slayer. Picking up her soda, Tara finishes the drink watching Buffy. “Is it such a surprise?” Tara finally question softly after setting her empty glass back on the table.
Buffy blushes and does a half nod, half shake of her head.
Tara raises an eyebrow at Buffy, chuckling quietly. “Was that a yes or a no?”
“Both.” Buffy bites her lip, blushing as she looks at Tara. “I keep seeing you in my head like you were when you were first around us, shy and quiet. But then I remember things from when you lived in the house…” Buffy blushes again, looking down at the table.
Tara studies Buffy, her eyes becoming distant as she thinks about what the slayer’s saying, before a loud laugh bursts from her. “Naughty slayer!” Tara winks at Buffy as the slayer jerks her head up to look at her when she laughed.
“TARA!” Buffy’s eyes get wide at the obvious enjoyment that Tara was getting out of her embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to.” Buffy grumbles quietly, her lips starting to quirk as the funniness of the situation starts to sink in. “Slayer hearing isn’t always a good thing, you know!! Especially when I’ve come home after an extremely busy night!” Buffy growls, her eyes showing the laughter she’s holding in.
“Goddess! I needed that.” Tara wipes the tears from her face, smiling at Buffy. Leaning in, Tara grins wickedly.
Buffy unconsciously leans in with Tara, smiling at the Wiccan.
“Play your cards right, slayer, and you’ll learn first hand what causes those noises.” Tara whispers at the same time she teases a finger down over Buffy’s lips, chin and neck, stopping at her shirt as she wiggles her eyebrows.
Buffy whimpers and captures Tara’s finger, holding it to her for a second before releasing it. “Don’t tease the slayer, Tara. I would be more than happy to say to hell with talking to everyone else, and drag your ass out of here.”
“Are you forgetting something, Buffy?” Tara questions softly, becoming serious. Seeing the eyebrows of the slayer pulling down and bunching together into a frown, Tara looks knowingly at Buffy. “Why did I come here tonight, Buffy?”
Buffy’s eyes widen in realization and she looks at Tara. Buffy leans in even closer to Tara close enough to feel the Wiccan’s warm breath caressing over her lips. “What would happen if we went back to your dorm room?”
Tara’s eyes become smoky, turning gray as she allows her desire to show for the slayer. “Are you wanting a stroke by stroke, kiss by kiss explanation of exactly what I would do to you?”
Buffy closes her eyes groaning quietly as she feels her own desire jump to the surface at Tara’s words. Easing back a short distance, Buffy fights back her desire, before slowly opening her eyes to look at Tara. “God! That isn’t quite what I meant, Tara.” Buffy finally hoarsely admits. “I meant more of in the future between us personally and with the rest of the group.”
Tara blinks as she stomps on her desire, finally locking it back behind a very thin barrier. “Sorry, kind of misunderstood what you were asking. Between us? Hopefully lots of seeing each other, loving each other, talking and maybe one day moving in together if we find out that we want to spend our lives together. As for the rest of the gang, I guess it would depend on exactly how well they took us seeing each other.” Tara shrugs as she takes a deep breath, slowly calming down. “I can’t tell you what will happen regarding the rest of the group, Buffy.”
Buffy looks down at the table where Tara’s hands were clasped. Placing her hands on top of Tara’s for a moment watching as Tara shifts one of her hands to thread their fingers together, Buffy looks up at Tara. “What if, say four months down the road one of us decides that we don’t want to be with the other person anymore?”
Tara tilts her head as she considers Buffy. “Sweetie, there are no guarantees in life. Who’s to say I won’t be walking to the grocery store tomorrow and some idiot jumps the curb and runs me over? I hope that we both live to be a hundred years old, driving our neighbors crazy with screaming each others names into the night…” Tara smiles at Buffy’s wide eyes. “But we don’t know. It’s taking a chance, and it’s considered living life, sweetie.” Tara shrugs her shoulders. “It will hurt, but I honestly believe that we would be able to end this as adults and be able to remain friends. At least I would hope we could.” Tara admits quietly.
“Do you want this?” Buffy questions hesitantly as she looks down at their hands, Tara’s soft pale hands compared to her small, tanned, rough hands.
“Yes.” Tara answers simply, knowing in her heart that she already loves Buffy, and now that the possibility of the slayer caring for her and possibly loving her is within her grasp, wanting to grab on with both hands to the slayer. Protecting and being there for the woman that had been through so much in her short lifetime.
Buffy smiles as she raises her eyes at Tara’s soft, definitive and quick answer. “Didn’t take you long to decide on that.”
“What is there to decide?” Tara rubs her thumb in a circular motion over Buffy’s hand. “I’ve been called a lot of things, but stupid usually isn’t one of them.”
Buffy snorts back a laugh, shaking her head at Tara’s smirk. “You’re definitely not stupid. At least I never thought you were. Getting involved with me, on the other hand may start to point that way.”
“Why would my being involved with you be stupid?” Tara questions seriously.
Buffy drops her eyes looking down at the table. “Come on, Tara. My love life hasn’t exactly been great. One night with me, Angel loses his soul. Riley can’t handle it and runs off to South America.” Buffy whispers, thinking about Riley taking a moment to actually wonder what would have happened if she’d caught him before he reached the helicopter. Slowly realizing that it wouldn’t have worked with him. She was in love with the thought of being in love she was never actually in love with Riley. “Huh.”
Tara watches Buffy’s facial features tilting her head as Buffy finally seems to come to some kind of realization. With her muttered ‘huh’, Tara finally questions softly. “What is it, sweetie?”
Buffy looks into Tara’s curious eyes. “I just realized that I never actually loved Riley.” Buffy shakes her head, blinking a couple times as it settles in her mind. “The one person that was my most normal and the longest relationship I ever had, and I didn’t love him.”
Tara sighs quietly, looking at the slayer. “I’m sorry, Buffy.” Tara finally whispers, feeling sadness for the slayer deep in her soul.
Buffy shakes her head after a few minutes. “No reason for you to be sorry, Tara.” Buffy exhales heavily as she chuckles. “You know, that’s been bugging the hell out of me all this time, and now… now it’s gone.” Buffy admits, seeing the confusion on Tara’s face, Buffy squeezes her hands gently. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to confuse you. It always bugged me that he and I could be happy now, married or whatever, if I had been able to catch him before he left. But now, thinking about it…” Buffy shakes her head, smiling softly. “If I’d caught him, it would have probably just delayed the inevitable.”
“So, you’re basically saying you feel better about it now?” Tara questions, her trademark crooked grin on her face as she watches Buffy nod her head quickly and forcefully. “That’s great, sweetie!”
“How do you do that?” Buffy questions tilting her head as she looks at Tara, chuckling at the frown crossing the Wiccan’s face. “How do you make me think things and work out my problems?”
Tara laughs quietly and shakes her he
