“Anya!” Tara growls at the ex-vengeance demon. “She is not going to do magic. I’ll do the spell.” Tara stands in front of Willow, her eyes narrowed and her arms crossed as she stares down the woman.
Anya throws her hands up in the air. “Fine! Whatever! Just as long as we can get out of here!” Anya flounces out of the room, Xander sighing as he quietly follows his fiancée.
“I have some ingredients that you can use for the spell.” Willow hesitantly whispers to Tara, her eyes looking hopefully at the blonde Wiccan.
Tara clenches her jaw as she turns her gaze on Willow. “You still have Magic paraphernalia around here?”
Willow’s eyes widen in surprise at the anger she sees in the blue depths of her girl... ex-girlfriend. “I-I wasn’t planning on using them. I just had them here.” Willow bites her lip nervously as she watches Tara intently.
Sighing heavily, Tara nods her head. “Get them for me, please.” Tara whispers as she walks into the kitchen leaning against the island with her head tilted. ‘You know that you can never forgive her for what she did, you need to cut her loose, Tara. You know she’s hoping that you’ll come back to her.’ Tara thinks to herself as she hesitantly runs a hand across the tiles.
Willow hurriedly gathers everything magical she has, including the Doll’s Eye crystal Tara had given her, carrying them back down the stairs and into the kitchen. “Here’s everything I have.” Willow whispers gently placing the items in front of Tara, looking up hopefully at the Wiccan. “Honestly, I wasn’t planning on using any of this, Tara.”
Tara nods her head silently as she looks at the items, her hand reaching for her Doll’s Eye crystal, stroking a finger gently over it.
Buffy stops in the doorway to the kitchen as she follows Willow, seeing what was going on. Silently she watches as Willow tries to get into Tara’s good graces while Tara seems to be drawn into herself.
Tara quickly gather’s the herbs, doing the spell for the people to be able to leave, frowning when it doesn’t work. Thinking for a few long moments, Tara closes her eyes and whispers a soft incantation. “Someone, or something is keeping us from leaving. Their magic is more powerful than what we have here for me to break it.” Tara admits looking up at Willow.
Willow turns pale as she looks down at the items, before she looks back up into Tara’s blue eyes. “Would I be able…?” Willow doesn’t complete the question.
“No. You wouldn’t be able to break it.” Tara frowns heavily. “Only the person who cast it is going to be able to break this spell.”
Buffy unconsciously breathes a sigh of relief that Willow won’t do the magic, but frowns wondering what could have done a spell on the house so they couldn’t leave, and why it was done, as she unconsciously listens to the two women.
“Willow?” Tara starts quietly looking at the redhead. When Willow looks at her with hopeful eyes, Tara sighs quietly. “We need to talk.”
“Okay.” Willow smiles hesitantly. “Do you want to talk now, or maybe meet for coffee or lunch once we get out of here?”
Tara shakes her head. “I can’t do this, Willow.” Tara looks up with sad eyes. “I know you’re hoping that I might come back to you, but I have to tell you, that I can’t.”
Willow stands there in shock, staring at Tara. “B-but…” Willow looks down at the magical ingredients on the island.
“You’re doing great about not doing any magic, Willow. But I can’t forget or forgive you for what you did to me.” Tara whispers softly, her blue eyes filling with tears. “I will always love you, Willow. You helped make me the person I am today, and I never would have had the strength to be myself if it weren’t for you. But, whether you realize it or not, what you did to me was worse than what Glory did.”
Willow frowns heavily, not understanding what Tara was saying. “I only took the one memory from you, Tara.”
Tara growls quietly. “Yes, you did, Willow. You took my right to be angry at you away from me. The person that supposedly loves me completely reached into my mind and took my memories away from me. You say it was only the once, but you actually did the spell twice, that I’m aware of. The second time it backfired. Does the rest of the group know it was you that cast the spell, Willow? Do they have the slightest idea that you did that? The first time I can only guess that we argued about magic since I don’t have memory of it.” Tara runs a shaky finger over her forehead. “At least with Glory, it wasn’t anything personal, that’s who she was. You don’t do things like that to people you love, Willow. You took my choices away from me, to make you feel better about yourself. You raped me, is what it boils down to. I’ll never be able to be with you again, because of it. I’ll always wonder if something else might happen to push you to take my memories away from me and I can’t do that to myself. You ruined the trust between us and it isn’t something that we’ll ever be able to get back.” Tara admits quietly, looking into the tear-filled green eyes of her ex-lover.
Willow stares in disbelief at Tara, the tears falling heedlessly down her cheeks as she tries to understand what Tara’s saying to her.
Tara sighs, seeing the confusion deep in Willow’s eyes. “I’ll make it simple, Willow. I love you but I am no longer in love with you. I won’t be coming back, we’re over.” Tara watches as understanding slowly comes to Willow’s eyes, followed by hurt, and anger. Tara bites her lips as Willow snarls her lip up at her before running from the kitchen. Tara drops her head, her hair falling forward to cover her face as she silently cries.
Buffy steps out of Willow’s way, her eyes angry at the realization of exactly what Willow had done, not just to the rest of the group, but to Tara also. Buffy hesitates for a moment before walking up to the blonde Wiccan, cautiously placing a hand on a lightly shaking shoulder. “Tara?” Buffy questions softly, surprised when Tara turns to her, hugging her desperately as the tears fall harder and faster. “Shhh. It’ll be okay.” Buffy whispers, her eyes sad at the obvious hurt and pain the Wiccan is going through. Gently wrapping her arms around Tara, Buffy holds her gently, allowing Tara to cry it out, while gently running her hands up and down the woman’s back, surprised at the strong back she feels under the woman’s shirt.
“Oi, now, ain’t this a lovely sight?” Spike growls as he walks into the kitchen, his eyes looking accusingly at the slayer. “Didn’t think ya’ had it in you, slayer. Up for a bit of a threesome, are ya’?” Spike snarls as he lights his cigarette eyeing the two women.
“Put that out. You’re not smoking in my house.” Buffy snarls at the peroxide blonde vampire, while tightening her grip on Tara as the Wiccan tries to break the embrace. “Stay, Tara. You’ve always been there for me when I’ve needed someone. The least I can do is return the favor. And you and I are going to talk about exactly what happened between you and Willow when you feel up to it.” Buffy explains softly, before turning her gaze on Spike. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m comforting a friend, and it would be best if you got the hell out of here!”
Spike snarls at the slayer, before angrily spouting out. “Well, just so you know. It seems lil’ bit made a wish and that’s why we can’t bloody well leave.”
Buffy watches as Spike spins around on his heel and stalks out of the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, Buffy closes her eyes and unconsciously rests her head against Tara’s as she continues to hold the Wiccan. “What the hell am I going to do with her? She steals, she lies, she makes wishes knowing that we’re a damn magnet for things to go wrong.” Buffy shakes her head, not knowing what to do about Dawn.
Tara finally gets control of her emotions, gently easing away from Buffy to look at the sad hazel eyes. “Thank you.” Tara whispers as she wipes her own cheeks of the drying tears. “Want me to speak with Dawn?”
Buffy chuckles sadly. “You’re probably the only one she’s listening to right now. She hates me, I think she’s still mad at Willow and she only tolerates Anya. Xander isn’t one to go to for heart to hearts.” Buffy shakes her head, running a hand roughly through her hair. “One step at a time, let’s figure out how to get out of here, then maybe we can set up some kind of date for you to talk with Dawn.”
“Okay.” Tara allows a small smile to cross her face. “Let’s see about getting the wish reversed and taken care of.”
Buffy nods her head in silent agreement as she follows Tara silently out of the kitchen, back into the living room.
***
“Spike, will you stop stalking me? I said we’re through.” Buffy growls as she angrily strides through the cemetery, slamming her fist into a newly risen vampire before picking it up and throwing it against a tombstone. Quickly staking it, she turns her angry gaze on the bleached blonde vampire. “Take a not so subtle hint and leave me alone.”
“What’sa matter, slayer? You’re a bit tetchy, ain’t ya?” Spike growls, prowling towards the slayer. “I know what’ll cure that.” Spike smirks as he rests his hand beside his crotch. “I got just what the slayer needs.”
Buffy suddenly feels sick to her stomach in realization of what she’d done with the soulless vampire. The full weight of the violent sex, the beatings and the fucking they’d done makes her want to throw up. “You don’t have anything I need.” Buffy whispers, the disgust obvious in her tones. “Leave me alone, Spike. We’re through and there is absolutely nothing you can do to change that.” Buffy turns on her heel striding towards the college campus to continue patrol.
Spike snarls and jogs to catch up with the slayer, jerking her to a stop, ducking the quick fist that comes sailing towards his head. “We’re through when I say we’re through, slayer.” Spike growls, his eyes shading to yellow. “And we ain’t through. Not by a long shot. You came back wrong and this is proof!” Spike snarls as he lands a quick strike to the slayers ribs, before howling in pain as a boot lands squarely between his legs, making him collapse grabbing his groin in pain.
Buffy grabs her ribs, wincing as she feels them shift under her hand. “You lay another hand on me, I will rip you limb from limb then stake you with your own arm bone. Leave. Me. The. Fuck. Alone.” Buffy hisses in Spikes face before wincing as she continues walking towards the college.
“We ain’t through yet, slayer.” Spike growls quietly, waiting for the pain to subside before he slowly stands, watching the now distant slayer. “We’ve only just begun.”
***
Tara hurries from the library towards her dorm room, keeping her eyes open for any vampires, silently berating herself for staying so late in the library. As her eyes continue to scan the quad, they come to light on a small blonde, leaning against a tree. Searching out the rest of the area, Tara jogs quickly up to Buffy, stopping a couple feet from the slayer. “Buffy?” Tara hesitantly questions.
Buffy unconsciously stiffens from where she’s been resting against the tree, trying to get the pain of her broken ribs under control. Slowly turning to face Tara, she tries to smile, failing horribly.
Tara frowns heavily at the obvious pain coming from the slayer. “Can you make it to my dorm room?” Tara questions, her eyes trailing over the slayers body, not seeing any visible damage, but knowing there must be damage under the clothes.
“I should go home.” Buffy turns to head back towards her house.
“No, please don’t.” Tara shakes her head, her eyes looking at Buffy’s. “Let me help you, please.”
Buffy takes a deep breath ready to tell Tara no when the pain shoots through her again, making her whimper.
Tara steps up to Buffy gently wrapping her arm around the slayer, urging her towards the dorm. “No arguing with the Wiccan, Buffy. I’ll knock you out and carry your ass to the dorm room, if I have to.”
Buffy snorts at that comment, hissing as her ribs shift. “So much for the sweet, calm Wiccan. Threatening to knock me out and saying bad words.” Buffy allows a small smile to cross her face as Tara looks at her with narrowed eyes. “Though, it’s hard to picture you doing those things.”
“Try me.” Tara states seriously, her eyes glancing at Buffy, no laughter visible in the serious gaze. Tara turns her eyes back to where they’re slowly making their way up the stairs, Tara calmly waiting for the slayer to slowly lift her legs as they climb the steps together.
“You have a very serious look on your face.” Buffy whispers, the surprise obvious in her voice.
“Your being hurt is serious.” Tara whispers back, shifting her head, she looks at Buffy.
“It isn’t that bad.” Buffy shakes her head, frowning. “A few broken ribs.”
Tara inhales quickly, her brows furrowing. “Broken ribs are extremely painful, and the way you’re acting they must be bad.” Tara’s mind starts working through the ingredients she has in her room to make a poultice for the slayers ribs and a numbing spell to take the worse of the pain away. “What happened?”
“Had a not so successful discussion with Spike.” Buffy finally admits after they make it to Tara’s room and the blonde unlocks her door. Buffy’s mind stalls for a moment at the knowledge that Tara obviously knows from first hand experience what broken ribs feel like. Filing that information away, Buffy watches Tara.
Tara’s head snaps up, her eyes searching Buffy’s. “Spike did that?”
“Yeah.” Buffy admits as she walks into Tara’s room.
“Lie down on the bed.” Tara orders as she tosses her book bag in the corner, digging her first aid kit out of the closet. Setting it on the desk, she digs through until she finds the ace bandages, setting them on the side before going to her box of herbs. Tossing a few chosen herbs into her mortar and grinding them almost roughly with the pestle, Tara turns her gaze on Buffy, watching as the slayer sits on the edge of the bed. “You need to lie down. Where are they broken at?” Tara watches as Buffy looks up at her with sad hazel eyes before pointing to her lower ribcage. “Can you get your shirt off, or are you going to need help?”
Buffy’s eyes widen at the Wiccan’s calm words. “What?”
Tara sighs quietly. “For me to get this poultice on your ribs, and to wrap them properly, your jacket and shirt both need to come off. I’ll give you a towel to cover yourself with, if it bothers you.”
Buffy blushes lightly as she looks down, not knowing what to say.
Tara laughs quietly at the obvious discomfort crossing Buffy’s face. “I promise I won’t pounce on you, Buffy. Yes, it’s been a while, but I don’t take advantage of people. Especially women that are straight.” Tara grins crookedly at the slayer, as Buffy’s head lifts up in surprise. “Do you need help?” Tara questions softly as she sets the mortar down.
“Please.” Buffy finally smiles as she tries to shrug out of the jacket, wincing in pain.
“Let me.” Tara kneels on the floor beside Buffy, gently easing the jacket off the slayers good side before gently pulling it down the slayers other arm. Sighing quietly at the crop top the slayers wearing, Tara raises her eyes at the slayer. “You couldn’t have worn a button-up shirt, could you?”
“Wasn’t planning on having my ribs caved it.” Buffy admits, grinning briefly.
Tara sighs as she gently raises the top, trying to maneuver Buffy’s head gently through the opening, so the slayer doesn’t have to lift her arms and put any more strain on her broken ribs. Finally pulling the shirt down Buffy’s arms, Tara glances away at the now topless slayer, standing to get a towel and handing it to her.
Buffy covers her breasts, blushing lightly at her nakedness.
Tara turns back to make the poultice and grabs the ace bandages. Stepping back to the slayer, Tara lifts the edge of the towel, placing the poultice gently against Buffy’s side. “Can you hold this here while I start to wrap your ribs?”
Buffy nods her head as she tucks the towel against her chest with her arm while holding the poultice against her with her hand, shifting her hand as Tara gently wraps her ribs, so the poultice will stay in place.
“Is that tight enough or too tight?” Tara questions as she wraps the slayers ribs, looking up into hazel eyes.
“It’s perfect.” Buffy smiles at the soft blue eyes. “Thank you, Tara.”
“You’re welcome.” Tara smiles back as she finishes wrapping Buffy’s ribs and taping the edges down. “Let me see what I can get for you.” Tara stands back up, walking over to her closet. Pulling out a light blue button-up shirt, she walks back to Buffy, gently easing the slayer into the shirt and quickly buttoning it. Finally pulling the towel down and out from under the over-sized shirt. “Not exactly a fashion statement, but a lot easier for you to get in and out of. Sorry it’s big on you.” Tara blushes lightly looking down as she stands, folding the towel back up and placing it on the desk.
Buffy watches Tara move around the room for a moment before looking down at her clasped hands.
“Please, lie down, Buffy.” Tara orders softly, watching as Buffy obviously contemplates for a moment before shifting and lying down on the bed. Walking over to the slayer, Tara gently pulls off her boots, placing them at the head of the bed on the floor, while glancing at Buffy. “I have juice and water, if you’d like something to drink?”
“Water, please.” Buffy finally gives in, relaxing her body back into the bed, getting more comfortable as she feels the pain slowly easing from her side.
Grabbing a couple waters out of the mini refrigerator, Tara hands one to Buffy before she sits down in her chair, tucking her legs up under her, sipping at her own water. “Do you feel like talking about what happened?”
“You pretty much know the majority of it. I told him we were through, I didn’t want anything else to do with him and it escalated into him taking a cheap shot at my ribs. Which was harder than I expected. I kicked him in the groin then gradually made my way here to try and finish patrol.” Buffy shrugs lightly as she plays with the label on her water bottle.
Tara tucks her hair behind her ear, sighing quietly. “Buffy, he’s obsessed with you. He won’t give up, he’ll keep at it until he either gets you or kills you.” Tara explains softly.
Buffy slowly raises her eyes, looking at Tara. “I think obsessed is exactly what it is.” Buffy tilts her head, watching Tara. “I haven’t seen you in the last couple weeks since the birthday party. How are you doing?”
“I’m okay.” Tara shrugs, smiling briefly. “Going to classes, studying, that type of thing.”
“Do you feel like talking?” Buffy questions hesitantly, her mind tripping back to the discussion between Tara and Willow at her birthday party.
Tara looks down, picking at her skirt as she considers the slayer quietly. “What is there to say, Buffy? Willow and I are through. I’m going to finish out the school year and transfer out of here.” Tara shrugs her shoulders, her heart aching at the thought of leaving the people she considers family, but not seeing much choice in the matter.
“WHAT?” Buffy growls loudly, her head snapping up to look at the Wiccan. “What do you mean you’re transferring out of Sunnydale? You can’t do that! I won’t let you, Tara.” Buffy shakes her head angrily. “So not gonna happen.”
Tara stares in surprise at the blonde slayer. “I figured it would be for the best that I leave. That would take away a lot of the tenseness and turmoil that’s going on right now.”
“No. It’ll make things harder on everyone. You’re family, and if you leave it’ll tear us apart, Tara. You’re the glue that holds this crazy family of ours together. Whether you believe it or not, we would have probably imploded a long time ago, if it wasn’t for you. Lord knows I’d still be fucking Spike if you hadn’t been there for me.” Buffy admits sadly, coming to the realization that since Tara had moved out, things had been harder on everyone.
Tara shakes her head softly. “I figured it would make things easier on everyone if I wasn’t even around. I honestly don’t want to leave, but I thought it would be for the best.” Tara whispers the sad admission.
“It isn’t for the best, so please get it out of your head. No more discussions of you leaving.” Buffy hesitates, sighing quietly before blurting out. “Why didn’t you tell anyone what Willow did to you? All she told us was that you had left her because of the magic. We all assumed it was because she was using too much magic. I know it never even occurred to me that she had used a spell on you.”
Tara’s eyes snap up to look at Buffy. “You heard our conversation.” Tara states, seeing the acknowledgement in Buffy’s eyes, Tara drops her gaze back down to her lap. “She had done a spell on me right before the big spell that wiped all our memories. If you didn’t know for sure, she was the one that caused us to lose our memories, not some big bad. She was trying to make you forget being in heaven, and me forget my finding out about the first spell and her promise to not do magic.” Tara admits quietly a hitch in her voice.
“I figured it was something like that.” Buffy softly whispers. “I haven’t hardly seen or spoken with Willow after you broke up completely with her. She’s been keeping pretty much to herself.”
Tara slowly raises her head. “I’m sorry, Buffy. I didn’t mean to make it harder on everyone, but I just can’t ever be with her again. I can’t trust someone that did what she did, knowing what had been done to me. She doesn’t realize that what she did was worse than what Glory had done.”
“I understand, Tara.” Buffy shifts to place the empty water bottle on the nightstand, wincing at the pull in her ribs, but surprised at how much better they’re feeling. “Now, why were you out so late, when you should have been tucked away all safe and sound in your room?”
Tara laughs quietly. “I needed to do some research for one of my papers and time got away from me. Plus I needed a couple books for one of my classes.”
“You need to be more careful.” Buffy admonishes as the thought of something happening to Tara, makes her heart speed up with worry.
“I was prepared.” Tara laughs, pointing towards her book bag and the fanny pack lying on top of it. “I don’t go anywhere without my stakes, holy water, crosses and a few additional tricks.”
“Try not to put yourself in the position of needing them, though.” Buffy shifts her feet off the bed, preparing to stand.
“Whoa. Where do you think you’re going?” Tara questions, hopping out of the chair and placing a hand on Buffy’s shoulder.
“I should head home. My ribs are feeling pretty good right now.” Buffy admits, looking up into caring blue eyes.
“Is Willow home?” Tara questions quietly, and at Buffy’s hesitant nod, Tara smiles. “And is Dawnie staying at Janice’s tonight?”
“Yeah, at least that’s what she said.” Buffy admits quietly, raising a questioning eyebrow at the Wiccan.
Tara hesitates a moment as she looks down at Buffy. “I know you don’t sleep well, Buffy.” Seeing the questioning eyes, Tara sighs. “The dark circles under your eyes, the fact that you’d climb out your window in the middle of the night to climb down the tree and walk around the neighborhood to try and settle your mind. ”
“How…?” Buffy questions frowning heavily as she considers Tara.
Tara turns back and walks to her window, leaning against the window frame. “I wasn’t exactly sleeping well myself.” Tara finally admits. “I’d been feeling unsettled and worried about Willow and you both, for different reasons. I’d hear when you’d leave your room, and move to the window to watch as you’d walk down the sidewalk.” Tara leans her forehead against the cool glass. “Sometimes I’d see Spike meet up with you.” Tara admits softly, closing her eyes.
Buffy sits there in shock, as she thinks back to that time right before Tara left, how she and Spike would go at it occasionally under the tree or down the block, wondering exactly what Tara might have seen. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Buffy speaks barely above a whisper.
“I figured if you wanted me to know, you’d say something.” Tara shrugs as she runs her hands through her hair, sighing softly. “I try not to judge or stick my nose in other peoples business, Buffy. But I’m going to let you know this…” Tara turns her gaze towards Buffy, the normally warm blue eyes becoming glacier cold. “If Spike lays another hand on you to hurt you, I will rip it off him before starting at the tip of his toes and slowly pouring holy water all over his body, until he’s begging me to kill him. Then I’ll practice my fireball spells I’ve been working on.” Tara turns back and looks out the window again. “I came across a spell a couple nights ago that might help you. I’ve already done it and placed it on a necklace. It should keep him from being able to harm you. If you should want to continue sleeping with him, it won’t stop that, but he won’t be able to hit you again without his chip firing. Unless you take it off.” Tara drops her head against the window pane again. “If you want to stay, you’re more than welcome. No strings attached, we don’t have to discuss anything. Just curl up and go to sleep. Maybe I’ll hold you as you sleep, if you want me to try and help to keep the nightmares at bay. If you want to leave, the necklace is on top of my dresser.”
